This is silly, and possibly very old, but I still found it amusing. Should I be embarrassed to admit this is the first time I’ve heard the word “retronym“? In my defense, Wikipedia claims that “retronym” is a neologism, and it’s no secret that I’m a bit of an English-language traditionalist.

10. Shelf pointer librarian
9. Analog librarian
8. Legacy librarian
7. Librarian unplugged
6. 3×5 librarian
5. Internot librarian
4. Retrobrarian
3. (Insert the name of your supervisor here) librarian
2. Wallenda librarian (flying high without the net)
1. Librarian 1.0

I’m particularly fond of the term “analog librarian”. It makes me nostalgic for the career I never had… musty books, catalog cards written by hand, a time when library school was more about practicing “library hand” and buying reference books, and not about how to use Second Life. Don’t worry, though. I’m not laboring under any misconceptions here; I’m well aware that most of my value as a librarian is tied up in tech skills. Now, please excuse me while I try to figure out what’s wrong with our IP authentication for BioOne databases…

*Insert wistful sigh here*